Songs: 

Magic - Coldplay 

Knee Socks - Arctic Monkeys 

Something Great - One Direction 

| sixty-one | 

His hands gripped her sides tightly. A deep throated moan escaped his swollen, pink lips. “Ava,” he moaned. 

She gripped his curly hair and began to leave gentle kisses across his jaw. With each kiss, she slowly made her way down to wards his sparrow tattoos. Her tongue began to trace each curve and dip of his chest. “Fuck, Ave. Keep doing that.” 

Harry’s body arched up while Ava began to grind her hips into his. A low moan grumbled from the depths of his throat. “Baby. This needs to go.” He said as his fingers gripped the edges of her lace panties and slowly dragged them down her porcelain white thighs. The slow movements of his hands caused Ava to hitch her hips up higher. 

“Faster,” she breathed out. Her voice became croaky and hoarse - a result of her deep desire for him. “Patience, baby.” He smirked. 

By now, the only thing separating the two of them was the thin fabric of his black boxer briefs. His hard member pressed into her inner thigh causing a wave of goosebumps to kiss her skin. “Harry,” she moaned. “Please.” She begged quietly. 

“Yes, baby.” His fingers met her core. Automatically, Ava’s hips jolted up. Her fingers began to tug his hair with as much force as she could muster up. Every nerve ending that lived inside of her body was on fire. With each push of his finger, Ava felt her body grow higher and higher. 

“Wait!” She moaned. Harry pulled his hand away from her sweaty body. Ava reached out quickly, and pulled the one thing that is inhibiting them from becoming one. “This needs to go,” Ava managed to discard Harry’s boxers from his perfect form. 

“Condom?” 

“Shit. No.”

“It’s fine. I’m on birth control. I need you, Harry.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes. Go. Now.” 

Harry chuckled at her impatience. His hands sat on either side of her head. He began to leave soft kisses along her collar bone and down the valley of her breasts. Without much hesitation, his body connected with her own. “Ah,” Ava moaned. She wrapped her legs around his hips, bringing their body closer together. Each moment that they became one, their bodies escaped the confines of his warm apartment and into euphoria. 

“Harr-”

Ava quickly jolted awake. Her body was covered in a layer of sweat. Her heart was beating rapidly against her chest. Her mind was clouded, her skin was full of goosebumps. Once her mind had caught up with her body, she realized what had just happened. 

Her subconscious brought back the wet memory of her last intimate moment with Harry. “Wow.” She ran a trembling hand through her matted hair. She rolled out of her bed. Her legs were shaking still - an aftershock of the memory of Harry’s body and her body moving together. 

A chill shot through her body. The memory made her smile but grimace at the same time. It was a reminder of what she potentially could have lost. It was the only memory she had left of the way his body felt against hers. The way his fingers, calloused from the many days he played guitar (a hobby he didn’t talk much about), ran gently along her soft skin. His scent, his husky voice, the way he would moan her name when he came undone, the things that were only a memory at this point. 

She needed him.

Her body longed for his touch. His scent. His voice. Everything about Harry was what her body longed for. He was the missing puzzle piece that fit perfectly against hers. She knew what she needed to do tonight. 

She was going to fight for him. She was going to fight for their relationship. 

Flint’s words from earlier that morning still rang loudly in her ears. Space will either make or break your relationship. 

Ava knew how she felt about Harry and she knew how he felt about her. This was a bump in their road. The lies, the secrecy that they both had done in the past was just that - a memory of the past. They were going to move on from this bump. Their relationship was worth it. He was worth everything. 

When Ava sat and thought about what life would be like if Harry left her, she cringed. She couldn’t think about any other man that could satisfy her needs; her physical and emotional needs. He understood her. She understood him. 

They were it. 

No body else could satisfy her the way Harry could. 

That was for certain. 

- 

Ava stood in front of the mirror. Her hair was parted in the middle loose waves. Harry’s favourite hair on her. She kept her makeup minimum but layered some red lipstick. She pulled on the dress. The dress that only had good memories. The dress that she knew made Harry weak. She knew that it was almost cruel to wear it. But she had hoped that by wearing this dress, Harry would give her a moment of his time. She was willing to put out all the stops for him. 

He was worth it. 

“Ava? Are you ready?” Chloe’s soft voice called from inside the guest bedroom. 

Ava grabbed her tube of lipstick and placed it inside of her clutch. She took one last look at her reflection. With one last deep breath, she shut off the light and walked out the door. 

“Oh, Ava. You look beautiful.” Chloe praised. Ava sent her a genuine smile. 

“Thank you, Chloe.” 

“Harry will not know what to do with himself when he sees you.” 

“I hope.” Ava laughed lightly. She mustered all of the strength that she could to stay strong. She didn’t want to show how nervous she truly was. 

“Ready to go kiddo?” Flint smiled at his daughter. She gave him a small nod and followed him out into his car. 

The drive to the party was quiet. Not awkward, but quiet. They both were lost in their own thoughts. All that she could think about was what Harry would do when he saw her. Would he be angry? Would he be surprised? Did he find some random girl as a date? That thought alone made Ava feel sick to her stomach. She didn’t think that he would do that, but the thought still came. She knew that they were still, sort of, together. She knew that Harry would never do anything like that to her. But granted what she did to him, she wouldn’t be fully surprised if he did. 

Twenty minutes later, they pulled up in front of a rustic looking building in the heart of downtown Portland. Ava stepped out of the car and Flint gave the valet his keys. He then made his way to his daughter and placed his hand on her back. “Here we go!” He said with a small smile. 

“Here we go.” 

The room was full of people. Everyone looked the same as the launch party in Los Angeles. They all looked as if they had stepped out of a hipster magazine. The men were wearing tailored suits ranging from black to blue. The women’s dresses were semi formal of different prints. Ava felt a bit more comfortable in her floral dress. 

“Alright, this way.” Flint tugged Ava’s arm gently. They made their way into the crowd and towards the bar. “For you.” He handed her a flute of champagne. Ava gave a nod of appreciation and took a small sip. 

Her eyes wandered around the room in search for a head of curls. “I’ll be back. Feel free to mingle, sweetie.” She gave him a small nod and watched as Flint walked towards two men in fancy suits. 

“And then there was one.” Ava said to herself. She turned towards the bar tender. She took one long sip from her champagne and placed the flute down on the table. “Could I have a vodka tonic, please?” She asked sweetly. The bartender, who resembled a young David Beckham, nodded and began to mix together her drink. 

“Here you go, love.” His thick British accent threw her off guard. It brought her mind back to Harry. “Thank you.” She said shyly and took a sip from her glass. 

She stepped away from the bar and began to walk around the crowd of people. Everyone had been in their own groups completely lost in conversation. Ava quickly found herself feeling uncomfortable and lost. She began to wonder if this was a bad idea. 

Across from where she stood, were two large glass doors. She made her way towards the doors which led towards a small balcony. It had been pretty much vacant besides a  couple that were talking intimately in the corner. 

Ava leaned against the railing and looked out into the city. The lights of the distant buildings were flickering in the moonlit sky. A warm breeze cut through the dry air. Ava stood alone as she looked out into the abyss of buildings and people. She began to wonder if this was a good idea. 

Ava continued to look out into the skyline. She then felt a body come close to her. She didn’t look up but instead kept her eyes focused on the view in front. “What are you doing here?” The familiar deep, husky voice spoke beside her. Ava’s grip on her glass grew tighter as her heart began to beat faster. 

She looked over from where she was looking and was met with a pair of familiar green eyes. His brows were furrowed. His eyes did not look angry, but confused. 

“I- um, my dad.” She stuttered. 

Harry’s eyes widened at the mention of her father. “Your dad?” 

“Yeah. I’m staying with him this weekend. He invited me to come here. With him.” 

-

Harry took a step back. He was confused. The last time that they had spoke, Ava didn’t want to have anything to do with Flint. But now here she was. At his launch party in Portland, with her father, after he deliberately asked to give him space. He had so many questions to ask her about this, but knew it was not the approriate time to do so. Especially with where they are at in their relationship.

He knew that he would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy to see her. He always would be happy to see Ava. That’s what love did, and he knew that he would always love her. That doesn’t take away the fact, however, that Harry still needed space to think and process everything that happened while he was gone. 

“Oh.” Was all he could say in response. 

“You obviously don’t want me to be here.” Ava spoke quickly. “I’ll just go.” Harry quickly grabbed for her arm before she could walk away. 

“It’s not that I don’t want you here, Ave. It’s just that... I told you I needed space.”

“How much space do you need? I told you I was sorry.” 

“I need time to process everything. You broke my trust, Ava.”

“I know. But I am willing to build that back up. I screwed up. We both did. But please, Harry, I can’t lose you.” 

“I don’t want to lose you either.” He whispered. “But, I need time to myself right now.” He knew that he was being stubborn. But, he couldn’t just let her back into his life. 

“Are we still together?” Her voice came out just above a whisper.

“I don’t know. Yeah. I guess.” 

“Please, Harry. How much time do you need? I feel like we are broken up.” She could feel her voice begin to quiver. She took a deep breath and pushed the tears back down. She needed to be strong. 

“I don’t know.” His voice was low. His hands still gripping her arm. His eyes scanning over her body shamelessly. “But you in this fucking dress is not helping me.”

“I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t have to be sorry, Ava.” He chuckled. 

“I’m sorry. Shit. I mean.. I’m sorry. Fuck! I’m Canadian. It’s what we do.” She felt her cheeks burn in embarrassment. Harry chuckled at her flushed cheeks. 

He gave her a small smile. “I’m serious Ave. I need time to think. To figure out where to go from here.”

“Just tell me what I can do to win your trust back.” 

“I don’t know right now.” 

Ava could feel the tears begin to slip down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I miss you Harry. I miss you so damn much. This past week has been hell for me. I need you.” She was no longer holding her tears in. They were now falling down her face in a messy manner. 

Harry wrapped his arms around her body and held her close to his. He began to whisper into her hair words of comfort. “Just give me time, Ava. Please.”

“Are you here with someone?” She asked, her eyes meeting his. She took this time to fully look him over. His eyes were rimmed with dark circles. His hair was an unruly mess of curls that were pushed back by a plaid headband. He was wearing an oversized oatmeal coloured sweater and his usual dark skinnies. Even in his grungy style, he still managed to look gorgeous. 

“What?” Harry’s eyes widened slightly at the obscene question. 

“I wouldn’t blame you, if you were.”

“Ava, we’re still together. I wouldn’t do that.” His voice strong as he spoke. His brows still furrowed together. 

“Okay.” She merely said back. “Do you still love me?” 

“Always. I will always love you Ava.” 

“Then why are you doing this?” 

“I told you. I need time. You hurt me. You hurt me so fucking much. You were the only person that I gave all of my hear to. The only person that have been able to break down my walls. Going behind my back, sneaking around, kissing another guy - it was just a reminder of why I built those walls up in the first place.” 

“I suck.” 

Harry chuckled into her hair. “I do too. I know I shouldn’t have slept with Libby. If I didn’t do that, we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.” Harry felt like he was sounding slightly hypocritical. But, he needed to think. His mind was all over the place. One thing that was for sure, Harry was incapable to think and work without giving time to process everything. 

“Do you forgive me? For everything that I did with Mack. Do you forgive me?”

Silence. 

“I don’t know.” 

Those three simple words broke Ava’s heart. She knew that she had definitely messed up. That she had broke the trust that was so hard to earn. 

“Okay.” 

Ava took a step away from Harry’s embrace. The tears were still falling down her cheeks. She wiped them away and sniffled. “I’ll give you your space.” She spoke quietly. “But please, please, please don’t push me away Harry. I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.” He placed a soft kiss on her cheek and stepped away. 

“Find me when you’re ready.” Ava spoke quietly. 

“I will.” 

“Goodbye Harry.” 

“Bye love.” 

- 

The next day, Harry found himself standing at the airport, alone, waiting to board his flight. He looked out the large glass windows and studied the different planes that waited to board. 

This was it. 

He was ready to go back home. He was done with summer. He was done with touring and being in California. He needed home. He needed the familiarity of his bed and apartment. He needed Rose and her not so shitty advice. He needed to get away from all of the drama and heartbreak that was associated with this summer and Los Angeles. 

Last night, after Ava had left, Harry found himself in a daze. Even though he was surrounded by people who were there for him, he could care less. When the party was over, he hopped in a taxi and drove straight to his hotel room and packed. He explained to Adam that he was done and ready to go back home. Much to Harry’s delight, Adam understood. “I’ll get the rest of your stuff back at the apartment shipped to your place. Go home. Rest. See you around kid.” 

Economy class was not as extravagant as first class. But Harry didn’t care. The flight was quick and he didn’t care  where he sat. As long as he was on his way home. 

He soon found his jumbled thoughts going back to the hazel eyed-brown haired beauty that he had fallen deeply in love with. He wanted her there with him. Sitting on this cramped flight with her small hand in his, her petite body curled up into his side, as they flew back home. She was his something great. But as much as he wanted to forgive her and move on with their lives, he couldn’t. Yes it was stubborn. That he knew. But as much as he wanted to forgive her, the walls that he had once forgotten, and the demons that were once silenced, were screaming that this will happen again. That women could not be trusted. That he was an idiot for thinking that Ava was different. 

It was that stubborn, bone-headed voice who’s lips were glued to a mega phone that spoke louder than his heart. His heart wanted to run back to LA and tell Ava that everything was okay. That they were okay. But he couldn’t. He just couldn’t. 

He needed time to sort through his thoughts. To figure out what he wanted. He needed space to see if she was worth it all. He needed to see if setting his heart up for a painful heartbreak was worth it all. 

He didn’t know how long it would take. But this was for certain, he couldn’t go back into a relationship when he clearly had trust issues. These trust issues and insecurities that he never truly dealt with when Delaine screwed his life up.

His relationship with Ava was put on hold. He didn’t want to fully lose her. Even though they were not officially broken up, he felt like they were. He knew that if he took too much time to get his self together he could lose her forever. As stubborn and as stupid as it may seem to other people, this was what he needed. He needed the time and space to get everything sorted out. 

The reason was simple. He knew that if he wanted to give Ava all of him, his heart completely, he needed to know who all of him was.  As of right now, he didn’t know what anything was. Or who he was. And that was something he needed to know first before he could forgive Ava fully. 

This is going to be fucking terrible. 

---

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