6. Josh

       I was eating dinner with my family, though I barely touched my food. I had too much on my mind right now, and I really sucked that I had nobody I could turn to about it.

       Everyone always turned to me when they needed help, but I didn't have anyone I could turn to. Years ago, I would turn to my mom and dad with no problem but now, I didn't think I could. Mom really loved Cassidy, especially because I've had a crush on her for years. She would tell me to choose Cassidy, but I had to make the decision on my own.

       Nobody even noticed that I wasn't touching my food, except for Noah. At one point, he finally decided to ask what was wrong. However, instead of asking me in front of everyone, he said he needed some advice and had to talk to me alone.

       We got up from the table and headed to the living room. "So, I don't actually need advice," he said. "But I feel like you do. Are you okay?"

       I sighed and sat down on the couch. "Not really, no."

       "Does it have to do with Cassidy and Cleo?" Noah asked, sitting down beside me, and I nodded in reply. "Okay, I know I'm not the best at giving advice, and Julian would be the better person to talk to, but I'll try my best. What exactly is going on with them? I know you're falling for Cleo, but..."

       "But I think I still have feelings for Cassidy," I said. "A few days ago, after she was arrested and released on bail, I got really jealous of the guy she chose as her lawyer. I felt like it should be me helping her, not him."

       "You're not a lawyer, though," Noah said.

       "No, not with the case," I said. "Just in general. And yeah, I know she's not the best person because of what she did to Joel, but there could be some other explanation. Maybe he provoked her..."

       "Josh, don't," Noah said. "I know Joel doesn't have the best reputation, but he changed. And Julian told me that Joel didn't even fight back because he doesn't believe in fighting girls, even though she shot him. Cassidy doesn't have an excuse for what she did. No one should ever have an excuse for taking someone's life."

       I sighed and dug my face in my hands. "I know, I know. I just don't know what to do, or what to feel. Part of me is telling me to be with Cleo, but the other part is telling me to go back to Cassidy."

       "Well, who do you see yourself being with in the future?" Noah asked.

       "That's the thing," I said. "I don't know who I see myself with in the future. There's Cassidy who is the mother of my kid, and who I thought was the one when we were dating five years ago. I've had a crush on her for hers and I actually got a chance with her. But then there's Cleo, who is the most sweet, amazing, and beautiful person ever. And Celeste may not be my kid, but I love her so much and I want to stay in her life. I have to choose between two people I love, and I might regret whichever choice I make."

       "Well, I have my opinion on the whole situation," Noah said. "But I know you want to make the choice by yourself without anyone telling you who you shouldn't choice. I do, however, think that if you think about it hard enough, you'll have the answer."

       I wished it was that easy. If I thought about Cleo, Cassidy was on the back of my mind. If I thought about Cassidy, Cleo was on the back of the mind.

       "Yeah, maybe," was all I said so we could move on from the subject.

       "And, I know you hate being a guidance councilor for everyone, but..."

       "It's fine," I said. "You're my brother, so of course I'd be here to give you advice. So, what's up?"

       "I don't even know," Noah said. "It's not really about me. It's something about Julian. I know he's hiding something, and it kind of hurts since we're always there for each other. He hasn't told me what's going on, even when I asked him."

       I didn't even know what was going on with Julian, so I couldn't really help Noah at too much. Something serious must have been going on with him though if he wasn't telling Noah. They told each other everything, no matter what.

       "Just give him some space right now," I said. "He might be going through something like me. Not choosing between two people or anything, but having to make a drastic choice and not wanting anyone influencing his decision."

       "Yeah, you're probably right," Noah said. "I just don't want him to be under too much stress."

       "Don't worry too much," I said. "We know Julian. If it's getting too much for him to handle alone, he'll turn to you. You know he will."

       "Yeah, true," Noah said. "Anyway, we should probably head back to dinner."

       "Yeah," I said. "Thank you, for talking to me about this."

       "You're welcome," Noah said. "I think it was only fair since you're always here for us."

       I gave my brother a small smile before we heading back to the dining room. Julian was normally the brother that would listen to my problems and give me good advice about it, but it was nice to know that I could turn to Noah as well.

       "Is everything okay?" Mom asked Noah as we sat back down at the table.

       "Yeah," Noah said. "Like I said, I just wanted some of Josh's advice, and his only since he does have the best advice."

       "Well, that is true," Mom said, and I raised an eyebrow. 

       "Mom, you once turned down my advice about Holden getting a job just because you didn't agree with it," I said.

       "I just want Holden to be safe," Mom said. "You still do give the best advice. Which reminds me, if you ever need some of your own, your father and I will always be here."

       "I know," I said, though I knew I actually wouldn't be able to. Mom would only say what she would want to happen, not what was best for me.

       No wonder us children were keeping many secrets from Mom and Dad.

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Get ready for two more chapters lol. There's a gif I want to use in the middle of Holden's next chapter. 

There's actually quite a few gifs I want to use throughout this story. WOO GIFS.

It's snowing here btw. So that's putting me in an even bigger Christmas mood, and it doesn't help that I bought eggnog today OOPS.