A.N: something a little bit different, but some incorrect quotes because i thought they were funny. let me know if you want to see more of these at some point in the future, and if you enjoyed them :)

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harry: i don't wanna ruin our friendship, but i really want to kiss you-
cal: *smirks* ruin it

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vikk: did you know that according to scientists, one in five people are gay?
tobi: so that means that, statistically, at least one sideman is gay
simon: i wonder who it could be
harry, thoughtfully: well, he isn't in the sidemen, but i hope it's freezy. he's really cute

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cal, flirting: i bet that you would look amazing grasping at my sheets
harry: no matter how many times you compliment me, i'm not making your bed for you

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cal: i've been really stressed lately, which has affected my sleep. when i told harry about it, he offered to sing me to sleep with some spanish songs that he knows
lux: that's really sweet! why are you complaining about it?
cal: it turns out that he only knows two songs, and trust me, it is not very relaxing listening to him alternate between singing 'feliz navidad' and 'despacito' all night

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harry: *kisses cal's cheek*
cal: what was that?
harry: affection
cal: disgusting
cal:
harry:
cal: do it again

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harry: my boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss. what should i do?
jj: punch him in the stomach, and then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him
simon: tackle him
ethan: dump him
vikk: kick him in the shin
cal: NONE OF THOSE! JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN!

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cal: *gets down on one knee*
harry: oh my god, it's happening!
cal: *ties shoelaces*
harry, tearing up: he finally stopped wearing those fucking crocs

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lux: hey cal, are you in love with harry?
cal: *sweats nervously* ...no
lux: then why do you write 'h+c' everywhere?
cal: it stands for hatred and cruelty

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cal, mumbling: you look nice, i want to kiss you
harry: what?
cal, embarrassed: I SAID IF YOU DIED I WOULDN'T MISS YOU

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harry: from now on, we will be using code names. you should all address me as 'eagle one'
harry: simon, your code name is 'been there, done that'
harry: freezy is 'currently doing that'
harry: vikk is 'it happened once in a dream'
harry: sarah is 'if i had to pick a chick'
harry: and lux is...
lux: *sweats nervously*
harry: 'eagle two'
lux, relieved: oh thank god

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cal: what are you thankful for?
harry: your di-
vikk: *looks up from his book*
harry: -eeeeelightful personality

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harry: did cal just tell me that he loves me for the first time?
vikk: yep
harry: and did i just give him the thumbs up back?
vikk: *sighs* yeah, you did

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cal, to harry: you're a disaster
cal: wanna date?

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lux: how long have you had a crush on cal for?
harry, flustered: that's disgusting. and wrong. i don't even get- why would- i've never had a crush on anyone, anywhere. it's none of your- you have the nerve, the audacity- cal is my friend. and he is terrible, face-wise. and how, how do i know, frankly, that you don't have a crush on him? maybe you do. maybe you're trying to throw me off. hmm, check and mate.

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vikk: it's kinda cold
tobi: here, take my jacket
vikk: i love you
tobi, smiling: we're such a good couple
harry, looking hopefully at cal: i'm kinda cold too
cal: well jeez harry, i can't control the fucking weather

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cal: that's ridiculous. harry doesn't have a crush on me
lux: yes he does
vikk: yes he does
simon: yes he does
harry: yes i do

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cal, flirting: there are 20 letters of the alphabet, right?
harry: no, there's 26
cal: oh yeah, i forgot, u r a q t
harry: that's 25
cal: *winks* you'll get the d later
harry: *chokes on air*

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harry: i have reached the conclusion that i am in fact a snack. people just aren't hungry
cal, under his breath: i'm starving

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harry: you're actually pretty cute when you're nice
cal: what am i when i'm not nice?
harry: hot as fuck

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harry: i hate it when people ask me what the stupidest thing i have ever done is. it's bold of them to presume that i have already reached peak dumbassery

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