"Give us the most popular donuts you have please, a box of six".

I stand awkwardly behind Jimin and Jungkook as they observe with excitement the delicacies that get chosen one after one, head bent down to hide from all the eyes settled on our group.

I should've known that this would happen, only blind people wouldn't give a shit about our unconventional trio, it's enough to have all my newly acquired confidence fade away with every unblinking eyes on my form.

It's like I did one step forward only to go three steps backwards next, I feel incredibly out of place by their side in this public space where Instagram models come to take pretty pictures before eating three bites of something they're going to put in the trash to avoid putting on too much weight.

Jungkook turns back to gaze at me when I remain silent for too long and smiles at me, a smile I mimic to the best of my abilities, sweaty hands hidden within the large pockets of the jeans I'm wearing. I've got to hand it to Jimin, he's a hero for not giving us the uselessly small or fake ones.

After trying on all the clothes the alpha had put in the changing room for me, clothes that they both insisted I keep at all cost because they apparently looked like they were made for me - I believe my heart swelled twice its size with pride under their compliments - they then proceeded with selecting one particular outfit from the lot that they wanted me to wear for what was to be a date for the three of us.

I thought that would be it, but they continued with styling my hair after asking me for permission while Maggie would put some makeup on my face, just something delicate so that I would feel up for the outing.

She looked like she could see my fragility with her eyes closed and hence was very gentle with me, her voice assuring me that I looked beautiful many times, as if she knew that I was completely out of my comfort zone.

I nearly cried out of disbelief many times at her sweet words but willed the tears away with desperation, though she could see it all, obviously. She looked heartbroken upon seeing the impact her words had on me and so, she couldn't help herself when she gave me a big hug when it was time to part ways and even made me promise to come see her again soon, it made Jimin very happy.

I would be lying if I said that my heart didn't hurt from how good she was to me. From one woman to another, there's a type of healing that I couldn't get from any other source, her sincerity truly touched my soul.

But despite all this, I can still feel myself on edge from the meltdown I had at work and to be confronted to this staring from others so soon, I can't say that I'm fully at ease because I'm used to the insults that always follow up, to the sneers, I'm used to people looking down on me and this doesn't seem any different from what I'm usually forced to endure nearly every day.

I honestly don't want to put up a wall, I don't want to have to lock my emotions away to avoid getting hurt, not during what is supposed to be a fun afternoon. Maybe this is just me being paranoid, but I feel like I can guess what these strangers are thinking about just by glancing at them - they all think that I don't belong with Jimin and Jungkook.

Will I one day manage to make it out of that endless circle of weak self-confidence? It feels like a futile wish out of my reach, pretty clothes don't change the soul so how do I learn to love myself in my most vulnerable state in a genuine way? Is it even possible?

"Are you okay?" I hear Jungkook ask me all of a sudden in a whisper and I raise my eyes to meet his own before nodding my head, they were so excited about this so I don't want to ruin the mood. "Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry".

Unconvinced, he nods nonetheless and thanks the worker once all the donuts in a box, but instead of making a move to get us to a table, he makes us reach an empty corner of the shop to free up the counter and then shares a look with Jimin in what appears to be a silent conversation that makes me tense up because I'm not part of it, I don't know what's going through their mind right now and it's nerve-wrecking.

My eyes flicker between the two of them, uncertainty clashing with my growing discomfort, because what's going on? Is there something wrong that I'm not aware of? Would they have had a better time without me? Can they already tell? Are they regretting this outing now that we're here?

It's so easy to jump to the worst conclusions, it's especially bad when I'm feeling so vulnerable but it's impossible to stop, my brain creates these scenarios so quickly that I can only endure them with my feet glued to the ground, it would be so easy to run away and avoid facing the truth that might not even be as bad as I'm imagining it to be.

My soul is a battleground in which I feel like I'm losing all the time and I don't know how to change that reality of mine.

A hand presses over the middle of my back and I startle before looking up at Jimin who smiles at me with his usual gentle eyes, there's much more understanding in his orbs than I would like to see. I don't like being so obvious, I don't like that they can read through my insecurities so easily.

"How about we go eat these somewhere where there will be less noise and people? The weather is great today so we should make the most out of it. We could find a spot by the river nearby, what do you think?" he asks with a hopeful voice, and while I know why he offered that option, it still sounds much lovelier to me than the thought of staying here.

"That sounds great to me, Jimin, the smell of sugar is intense here and it's numbing my sense of smell, I would definitely prefer leaving this place if possible" I answer softly and upon hearing that additional information that they had no way of knowing, it seems to secure the new plan, we will not stay here.

With Jimin's hand still on my back, he starts guiding me towards the exit door and it doesn't escape my attention that Jungkook is once more acting as a wall between myself and the sea of people sat in the donut shop, is it his role of the day?

Jungkook the Wall 2.0, incredibly loyal and equipped with a growl to scare off any potential dangers. There's only one like him in this world and he's right by my side.

We make it outside of the busy shop and after one glance at the sky, the younger alpha's excited smile returns to his face as we start making our way to his car, his eyes back on me with a glint sparkling in them.

"Y/N? Could I possibly take some pictures of you once we're at the river? You just look so beautiful and I know the result would be absolutely perfect, I can already imagine you standing all pretty in front of the water and- gosh it's giving me shivers. I could send one to the pack and I could show you pictures of them too, maybe we could even tell you a little about them!" he chirps out with literal stars shooting out of his orbs, like he's got the whole scene played out in his head like a movie.

But he hasn't even finished talking that an overwhelming fear rushes in from my feet up to the top of my head and I freeze where I am, Jimin's hand leaving my back as he keeps walking causing him to turn around with confusion when he realizes that I've stopped, but it soon gives place to alertness when he catches my scent going from slightly watery to full on rotten.

Having Jungkook mention taking pictures of me feels like molten lava poured right over my head and I stare at the ground with trembling legs while my heart spreads angry thunder through my whole body, shockwaves that bounce and follow along my nerves with each thud against my ribcage.

I hate seeing myself in pictures with a vigor that few could understand and it doesn't take a genius to see it on my face, my own scent is like a betrayer as it reveals just how bad his idea makes me feel, by the same occasion worsening my emotional state because of its disgusting spoiled odour.

"I... erm, I uh- I could take pictures of you if you want but I'm not sure if I could- it's just that- shit, I'm not- you don't- damn it, why can't I just get it out?" I get angry at myself when I fail to explain to him that I don't want anything to do with being in a picture, my thoughts are all a mess and I shake my head in annoyance while they both hurry back to my side.

Jimin and Jungkook's scents of cedarwood and hazelnuts push out immediately in response to my panic and it doesn't take long before the older alpha bends down to my height, his eyes searching mine intently before he nods softly, his hand reaching over my arm and squeezing lightly to ground me before he tries to reassure me with his soothing voice.

"It's okay sweetheart, you don't have to explain yourself, we won't take pictures if you don't want to, no pictures, I promise. We'll sit by the river, we'll relax and we can tell you about the others if it's something you want, and if it's too soon, we'll find something else to talk about, or we don't talk at all, we can do that too, you're fine" he shushes me gently while Jungkook stands jittery at the side, regret all over his face, he wasn't expecting that reaction at all.

I find the strength to nod back at him, relief that this didn't have to be complicated filling me in even waves. "Y-yeah, okay, no pictures" I repeat in a murmur before inhaling deeply to calm my wild heartbeat, Jimin's scent just as soothing as home has become while Jungkook's helps ground me into safety.

Can I give them at least one single day where I don't have to be such a big mess? Am I like this because my closing off from others for two long years led me to actually hide from myself as well? I protected myself the only way I could, but did that keep me from healing properly?

I'm starting to rethink everything I thought I knew, the three alphas I've met so far have shown me that my hiding was not beneficial for me at all and I don't know how to feel about this realization.

"Come, let's reach the car first" Jimin says softly and when his hand makes it to my back again to spur me into movement, I don't resist the push, eyes falling on every little rocks at my feet with each step I make to avoid meeting their gaze.

I link and squeeze my fingers together, do I feel shame? Guilt? It should be easy to accept being taken in picture, most people would love Jungkook's attention, but that concept only brings back all those memories when I gradually started hating seeing myself more and more and it has not gotten better with time, that much I can see.

I haven't taken a picture of myself in many years now, I don't need to see what it is that others see when they look at me from another source than a mirror, that one does enough damage as it is.

I stop myself from rubbing my face at the last second when I remember the makeup that Maggie was sweet enough to put on me and instead clench my hands into fists before standing by the back door of the car, I don't want to sit at the front this time.

Am I overreacting? I'm sure I look pitiful right now but I can't ignore the way I'm feeling, no matter how much I want to. I truly felt threatened when I heard that a picture could be taken of me, someone could've put a knife against my throat and I wouldn't have panicked as much as I did for something so banal.

"You want to sit at the back?" Jimin asks softly, the answer is obvious but he still wants to make sure and when I nod my head in response, he makes a small noise from the back of his throat before opening the door for me. He waits until I'm in before closing it and I frown at my lap in deep confusion as he sits in front of me while Jungkook takes the driver's seat.

They're not complaining, they're not making me feel bad for the reaction I had, they're not trying to convince me, they're not making me feel as if my feelings are not valid and it's taking me aback.

"... aren't you disappointed with me?" I can't help but ask in the heavy silence of the vehicle, eyes unable to look up from my hands, inhales of their scents confirming that they in fact aren't, it doesn't feel normal to me.

"What? Why would we be? You informed us of a limit that you have and we respect that. If your well-being is affected by you being in a picture, then your saying no to that only means that you're looking out for yourself, there's nothing wrong with that. Anyone that acts disappointed because you're stating your boundaries only care about themselves, that's not how we are" Jungkook answers simply while starting the engine, it takes me a moment to fully process his words.

"Jungkook is right, darling. You should never be afraid of saying no, and do not ever feel like you have to say why unless you really want to. If anything, I'm feeling proud of you for letting us know that it was not okay with you, it must not have been easy. You respected yourself enough to speak up and that's all that matters to us" Jimin adds confidently, like this should be basic knowledge.

They both wait for a moment to see if I'll say anything else but when I remain silent, the rumbling of Jungkook's moving car fills the air instead to take us to the river that will hopefully make this afternoon better.

It's all too much to take in for me in such a short amount of time, such respect of my desires so unknown to me that I don't know what to say.

How do you reply to that? With a thank you? It could work, but it doesn't feel enough, are they even aware of what they're offering me? I feel like they don't quite understand the extent of it, they're allowing me a liberty of expression that I was denied for most of my life without making a big deal out of it.

The ride happens in silence while I breathe in warm cedarwood and nutty hazelnuts along with the sugary treats, eyes on the window that offers a glimpse here and there of the river as we get closer, and I have to admit it, nature will surely do me the greatest good.

I'm always inside, either at work or locking myself at home like it's a self-made prison, so this large space, this freedom, it removes a pressure from over my chest, and maybe it's all in my head, but even breathing feels like it's becoming easier.

Why have I denied myself so much for so long? Because I felt like I didn't deserve it?

"We've arrived, look how pretty it is outside, Y/N" Jimin muses as he points forward as we near the parking area where begins a series of trails that cut through the park following the river.

There appears to be many people here already, many of them sat in groups on blankets on the grass to have picnics or to relax with their partner and partners or even to spend some alone time, but since the open blue sky is spreading over our heads, it's not suffocating.

I open my window to have access to the fresh air while Jungkook finds a free spot for his car and it's a wave of pure oxygen that floods my lungs instantly while the songs of birds echo in the trees, like they're making it their personal mission to offer a nice ambiance to the people visiting their home.

"I've never been here before, it looks beautiful" I murmur once the car's engine turned off, belt taken off so I can step out of the vehicle while they do too, Jimin faster than I am when he joins me at the back to welcome me with a smile before he closes the door for me.

"There's a first time to everything, I'm sure you'll love it here. There might be a lot of people at times but it's very calming and peaceful, no one's loud or bothering others on purpose, that's why we like to come here when we have some free time" he explains while we wait for Jungkook to join us with the box of donuts in hands, a wide smile on his face, the outside air will be good for all of us.

I hum at his words and observe as Jungkook reaches us with a small jump to his steps, it's like this morning never happened at all when I see him like this and I like it, it's nice to not be reminded of it whenever he stares at me.

"But there are singers and musicians sometimes, maybe we'll stumble upon good ones today! The last time we came here with the whole pack, Hoseok couldn't stop laughing because the singer's voice would break all the time, the group didn't stay for long because of him and he felt terrible but he couldn't help it at all" Jungkook adds with a grin and I purse my lips to avoid snorting, it shouldn't be funny... but it kind of is.

"Maybe the singer had a bad day? I'm sure overworking your voice can't be too good, maybe we'll see them today?" I let out as I glance around us to see if I could find anyone that looks like a band, they both chuckle with a nod of the head, the optimism in my voice and slowly taking place on my face letting them know that coming here was indeed a good choice.

"Maybe, who knows? I guess we'll find out if they're here whether it really was a bad day or if it's their natural voice" the young alpha chirps before freeing up one hand to hook one arm with mine, and when Jimin does the same with my other one, I feel a giggle bubble out of my lips as we start walking slowly towards the start of the path leading to the different sections of the grassy land.

As we walk, I look around me with intrigued eyes, curious of what surrounds us, of what the people are doing, what food they're eating, what books they're reading, my first thought isn't even that people could be staring at me and I wonder if it has to do with how open this place is.

Here, it doesn't feel like we catch anyone's attention and it's a welcomed feeling. They're already busy with the people they love, they occupy themselves with hobbies, they close their eyes to rest, there's no need to impress, no need to judge, everyone came here to have a good time and they couldn't care less about others.

I take in a deep breath to fill my lungs, and all I can smell are the two alphas proudly standing by my sides with a bright smile on their face, the grass and the water. This is the kind of atmosphere that I didn't know I needed, the kind of comfort I didn't know I craved.

Children come running our way with happy laughter as they play together and Jimin pulls Jungkook and I aside with his arm still around mine to avoid an accident when he notices that they show no sign of slowing down or even simply looking in front of them, the four of them completely lost in their little world.

But from the unexpected movement, both for the tall alpha and myself, I end up tripping on my foot with a yelp and I close my eyes tightly, my mind convinced of my verdict when it tells me that this is it, I will die, especially when Jungkook's feet bump against mine only to make him lose his balance behind me as well.

Jimin tries to catch us but miserably fails when his heel steps on a spot of slippery mud and we fall down like dominoes, one piece after the other until we're all grunting on the ground, the impact of our bodies hitting the grass not a painful one, thankfully, it was simply unexpected.

And then I hear it, the gasp of a broken heart.

"No! The donuts!".

I raise my head to have a look at the opened box that's resting on the ground and find there, right on the rocky trail that now feels so far away, three of the six donuts the alpha had bought.

It's only too reminiscent of my last Friday when I too had dropped my two plates only to end up crying on the sidewalk, a culmination of disappointment and tiredness that had made me reach my limit, but right at this moment, in this happy environment, I can't resist the laughter that slips past my lips, loud and unrestrained as it grows with every passing seconds.

Jimin and Jungkook both stare at me with wide surprised eyes, this is the first time they hear me laugh like this and their hearts and souls are already bursting with joy to see me in this state, and while the loss of three donuts is a very sad thing to the younger alpha because he really wanted to eat two pastries, this is a much better compensation than he could have ever dreamed of.

I can't find the strength to stop now that I've started and when tears gather at my eyes before falling down my cheeks only to be followed by me snorting like a pig, my amusement doubles up and I cry out with my arms hugging my hurting stomach, which causes Jimin's giggles to transform into louder cackles, his body dropping back to the ground besides me after failing to sit up while Jungkook stares at us with delight all over his face.

"You're laughing! You're laughing over the death of three donuts!" he exclaims just to admire the result when I slap my thigh with another cry, I can't feel anything else but my painful jaw muscles and abs, it really hurts, yet I've never felt more alive at the same time and it's a liberating thing, every giggles rocking through my body covering years of pain, could the inner bruises slowly taking place cover some old pain for a while?

I barely hear the voices of children apologizing awkwardly before Jungkook forgives them and sends them off after telling them to be more careful, all I know is that Jungkook complains once more with a swear and I roll to my side with roaring laughter that sends Jimin to the ground a second time.

When my laughing spree finally starts fading into soft giggles, I wipe my eyes with my hands, unsure of what the makeup must look like right now but not caring enough to find out and stare at the wide blue sky gracing my sight instead, it sure is pretty, I never really took the time to pay attention before.

Jimin eventually manages to calm down too and together, we gaze at the sky in content silence while Jungkook cleans up the lost donuts with a smile on his lips.

Three have survived, he can't have everything all the time and that was apparently the price to pay to have this session of laughter happen. He would do it all over again without any regrets if he had the choice, he already misses the sound of my laugh.

We hear a grunt after a minute and I turn my head to find Jungkook lying down with us in the grass, his creased eyes meeting mine before we both look up when Jimin sighs happily. "Oh man, my body really hurts, I don't think I'll be able to stand up again after that".

I hum and nod my head, a hand over my stomach to feel it sore as well, when was the last time I laughed like this? I can't even remember. "I know, I'll probably have to spend the night here, I'm doomed".

Jungkook huffs and turns on his side to glance at the two of us. "You're so dramatic, you'll be fine. We should find a better spot to spend the afternoon now before they all get taken so get up you two, I can give you a push if you want, Y/N, but Jimin will have to do it himself because he's freaking heavy and I care about my back".

I quirk an eyebrow at the man who just spoke while Jimin groans in denial, a sound that would make me laugh again if I wasn't so disconcerted by his comment. If he thinks Jimin would hurt his back, then what about me?

"Jungkook, I'm sure you'd have less trouble helping Jimin, just look at us, it's not hard to see" I mumble out, I'm obviously referring to our different size, he can't miss what I'm trying to say but he seems intent on insisting when he shakes his head with his chin pointing at the pouting man who struggles sitting up by himself.

"You consider yourself pretty strong, right? Try to help him, pup, see for yourself".

Jimin shoots me hopeful eyes and I frown before agreeing with a shrug. I do consider myself pretty strong, I have carried and lifted up rather heavy furniture and items over the past years so if he won't do it, then I will, the poor alpha looks like he really needs the help.

I scoot over awkwardly before settling both hands under his back to give him a boost and when I push- "Holy... shit, Jimin!" I breathe out in disbelief when it suddenly feels like I got three bodies' weight leaning over me, what the fuck!

My arms start to shake in mere seconds and Jungkook giggles at the sight before rising from the ground to pull Jimin by the hands, and to see even the strong alpha struggle until they're both standing, it leaves me feeling completely lost, is he saying that every alphas are this heavy?

Is that why In-yeop would always insist I never try to catch him if he ever falls when he takes the ladder? I thought it was just to save his ego but he could actually kill me!

Jungkook huffs out a short breath to recover from the exercise and then stares down at me with a smirk. "Give me your hands, I'll help you" he muses with the voice of someone who has won an argument but I quickly shake my head before trying by myself, a miserable attempt that doesn't work when I remain on my back with a groan.

"Come on, sweet pup, don't make me do it against your consent because I will if that's what it takes to get you off the grass. Give me your hands" he says again with a warning this time and I pinch my lips in a sign of resistance, if he struggled with Jimin, then what is it going to be with me? I don't want to find out!

Jungkook tilts his head back with a sigh and when my eyes fall on Jimin who stands at the side with an amused look over his face, his arms crossed over his chest to show that he is not going to take my side, the alpha uses that moment of inattention to grab my hands and in a matter of seconds, I go from on the ground to standing on my two feet like I weighted nothing.

Briefly disoriented, I gape at the man who dusts his pants completely unbothered, like this caused him no struggle at all and I am left even more lost, because again, what the fuck?

"Omegas are lighter than alphas so it doesn't matter what size you are, darling, an alpha will always be able to lift you up" Jimin explains when I show no sign of recovering from my shock, that's something I had never heard prior to now, how the hell does that work? It doesn't make any sense!

My ex could never lift me up, he always sounded like he was dying when he would try in front of our friends to show off and he eventually stopped because of course, my gaining weight was not going to go in his favor. I thought betas were similar to alphas before but I can see such a huge gap between them now.

"And now that you know, you'd better not refuse my help again, alright? Our pack can handle you, no matter what it is about, we're up for it" Jungkook muses proudly and... I'm starting to believe him now.

"And all this exercise made me hungry, let's go find a free spot somewhere closer to the water so we can enjoy our donuts! And before another incident happens, I will cry if we lose our survivors" he adds before going off in one direction and I scratch the back of my neck before glancing at Jimin who offers me a smile and a hand.

"Shall we go? He's going to grow impatient if we take too much time following him" he says softly and I find myself smiling back before giving him my hand without any hesitation, heart melting when he gently interlocks our fingers with a pretty light pink over his cheeks, which I'm sure is reflective of my own.

What Jungkook said, about us being second chance mates... I think I'm starting to feel it, deep within myself. There is no way I could trust someone that I just met to this extent, especially not with how much I have tried to resist them, yet I do.

The more I spend time with them, the more I can feel my trust, my hope, grow, and it feels right, like they deserve it. Is this the Moon Goddess' way of telling me to accept them into my life? Is she trying to use my wolf against me to influence me faster?

I wish she could tell me why she couldn't send me Jimin first, why did I have to be with my ex mate at all? Couldn't she give me good mates right from the beginning? Maybe I wouldn't have suffered so much then.

Oh well. They're here now, I guess that's all that matters. She was kind enough to let them become my second chance mates, I shouldn't have such greedy thoughts. Maybe there was always a goal for all this suffering and I'm just following the plan that she prepared for me.

"Oh right, Jimin, does my makeup look weird? I'm not used to it so I rubbed my face earlier and I don't know if I ruined the look by doing so".

"It's still fine, don't worry. Maggie only uses waterproof makeup because she always cries on the job when she watches k-dramas, she doesn't know that I know though so don't tell her, it's supposed to be her secret".

We chuckle lightly before walking a little faster when Jungkook impatiently motions us over because we're not fast enough, an eager finger pointing at the box of donuts he's holding, he's going to eat all three of them at this pace.

I sigh softly to myself, soul content with all that is happening right now. I think I could get used to this after all, spending time with them like this, laughing together and then holding hands, not oppressive but instead comforting, warm.

One small memory at a time doesn't sound so bad anymore.