Chapter I: Jordan's story, unfold.

It's another morning in Seoul, with all the characteristics that exists everywhere in Korea during the start of winter: The wind were chilly, and snow are pouring down along with pale sunlight today instead of the normal crisp chill of December.

Jordan is walking to school from Achasan subway station, his hands in the pockets of his jacket and his eyes got giant bags because of his lack of sleep in the past few days due to the project in Physics, and he just basically had a bad morning because of the alarm clock; it goes off out of nowhere and he almost got to school late.

"Why on the actual heck are these subway stations always crowded in this city?" Jordan thought to himself as he walk up the stairs of the station, through thousands of other people who also used subway in this enormous city. Oh well, that's what you got when you live in Seoul- the "ppali-ppali" town, one of the most populated city in the entire world. And Jordan, as well as other people living here, has different problems to tell from a subway station. For him, getting to subway and STUFF YOURSELF in a crowd of people in a cramped train isn't considered a great start for a day, especially a snowy one like today...

"Stupid scarf." He muttered to himself when he walked inside the main building of his school- Korea Kent Foreign School. "Well, another day here." He said when walking to his own locker. Good thing it's a Friday and the winter break is right at the corner (next week by the way), but the teachers in this school may be don't really have understand what Christmas REALLY is: Joo-nam (Jordan's Korean name) has a lot of homework for the holidays (and I'm not kidding when I said he has a lot of homework): he has to memorize the vocabulary for the important test in both Korean II and AP World History, plus the upcoming mid-term exams in Intermediate Algebra, Earth Science and English (in junior year in Korea Kent Foreign School, English is actually British Literature.), so basically he won't have a proper winter break this year. Oh the perks of being a junior in this school...

"Oh help me with all of this homework problems." He said to himself after got to his locker, which by the way took him forever because of the middle schoolers and elementary kids. And one significant other.

His long-time crush and his best friend, Felix Reed.


Well, no further saying, Jordan is literally just head over heels when it talks about that red-haired senior guy that study with him in most of his classes.

3 years ago, when he first arrived in Korea from San Francisco, California to study high school, that German guy who lives in Itaewon-the foreigners' section of the city- was the first one to befriend him and make him feel less lonely when he starts school here in Seoul, and they were inseparable friends since then.

But not until last year that our main one in the story- Jordan "Joo-nam" Jung, the only child of an American businessman working in Yeouido, the business district in southern Seoul- realized his feelings towards a specific red-haired boy: every day, Jordan would silently say "I love you, Felix." when they were playing video games or studying together at each others' house, and Jordan had hardly ever have a good night sleep for half a year already because he thinks about Felix every single day and night;

And every time Felix hugged him, whether he was just only a "friendship hug" or a congratulations for Jordan's achievements in the all-school performance, (that happened last month, which Jordan and his group The Fractals won the first place of the dance section, ) it always sent goosebumps and sparks all over him. And every day that Felix is in school and say good morning to him, Jordan's day just gets sunny and happy no matter how bad his day begins (or his day could turn out to be, but he always feel better when thinking about Felix.)

Alright; until now, I know some people who read this would say: "Okay, Mr.Lovesick, when will you actually tell Felix the lucky guy that you like him?". Well, let me just say that although Jordan had a crush on Felix for a long time, there's some painful things about Felix that makes Jordan hesitates to say about his feelings for him:

One, he's his BEST FRIEND. And if Felix don't accept his feelings and hates him afterwards, Jordan will surely be devastated, because he'll lose both his crush and his best friend at the same time.

Two, Jordan doesn't actually sure whether or not Felix has feelings for him.

Three, Felix has a girlfriend, Amanda Yeon- the beautiful British-Korean girl with hazel eyes that is the top of the junior class.

Yep, that was indeed painful, huh? And the other things that happen before classes is Felix's strange act today: he wouldn't say good morning to him when he walked past by his locker, but just look at him with a sad look. And Felix today seems like someone else: he would hardly pay attention in class and always stare at Jordan with a sad expression in his eyes. And he walked through the hallways, all alone without his "boo", like he always called Amanda. But the strangest thing out of all things happened in the Earth Science class; when Jordan is reading about meteorology and climate in Asia, a note was passed to him by Hannah, the girl who sits next to him.

"Meet me at Paris Baguette after school. I have something important to tell you.

Felix."

"Paris Baguette?" Jordan whispered in confuse. Why does Felix have to tell him something at their favorite bakery? But he decided to take a risk and replied.

"Sure."

After all, Felix is still his friend.

Jordan the nerd knows if Felix, his jock bestfriend have to go somewhere else besides each other's places, the gymnasium or in front of the school, it means something REALLY BIG is happening.

So after the final bell rang and Jordan walked out of the Korean class in a fast pace and go towards the meeting place, the bakery with the blue Eiffel Tower sign- Paris Baguette, Jordan saw Felix sitting at a table near the window with a expected look and a lemon pound cake- Jordan's favorite cake, along with a cup of cappuccino on the table.

"Hey." Jordan said. He still can't really understand what is the real reason about Felix's action, which never happened since Felix never going here without buying something for both himself and Jordan.

"Hi." Felix replied with a sad smile and looking at Jordan. Then he gestured him to sit on the opposite chair from his.

After sitting down,Jordan asked Felix while taking a bite of lemon pound cake (of course, after he asked Felix if the cake on the table was his or not):

"So... what's wrong? It seems like something is bothering you."

Felix sighed, the saddest sign you could hear from a guy. Then he looked at Jordan with hesitant in his eyes. Jordan then replied with a reassuring voice and a warm look:

-Hey, you understand that we're best friends, right? And that means you could tell me anything, Felix.

"Can you just...finish your food first? Then we'll talk on our way back to your place." Felix scoffed, leaving Jordan sitting there with a confused look, but he shrugged and finished the food anyway.

While they were walking out to the door, Jordan asked Felix with a concerned tone:

"So...what happened?"

Felix sighed, then started to tell his story...

Chapter II: The third snowfall, the confession and the close call to death.

*Jordan's Point of View*

"I broke up with Amanda." Felix said to me. We were walking through the streets of Seoul, the white, fluffy snowflakes of a crisp, chilling January afternoon are falling down to the pavements and on our own hair.

Just like 3 years ago.

Just like the first time we walked together here as friends.

The time when I have to buy spicy rice cakes for him in our " day out " (although he invited me) because he didn't know Korean that good back then (that questions me, how can he survives living in Seoul?).

His bright red hair keeps on blowing in the wind and snow got all over both my hazel brown hair and his.

But this time, he only walk along with me. Without speaking a word. And his eyes held slight sadness.

Which I never see in the past 3 years.

From the day that I first arrived to the school as a freshman with all of the shyness someone new to the school could and would possibly have, while he was a sophomore with a reputation of the captain of the soccer team at Korea Kent Foreign School- in the thick snow of January, exactly 3 years ago.

To the time we first met together. Under the grayish snow of early February.

To the day out when we celebrate my and his achievements as top student of the freshmen and sophomores in July sun by dancing at my room like two crazy people.

To the time when he was kissed by a girl on Christmas eve the year before last year, under the flurries of late December at Yongsan Junction. (And on the next year's June, they became an item.)

To the night that I won the city's Kpop dance contest with my girls, The Fractals last April in the cool spring breezes and he had muted himself for the next 3 days because of cheering for me that night. (by the way, I was the lead vocal of the group at that time.)

To that evening when I cheered for him in the basketball final match between us- the Merlins- and the Eagles- our opponent from the outskirts of the city. And we drive home together, the already-fallen-to-the-ground snowflakes of a sharp cold December night, reflected by the street lamps' yellow light rays made our way home looks beautiful.

Well, it always was.

All the other times, he always got his spirit up really high every time I was there. It's like I was his lucky charm.

But then we have today, where I keep on cheering him, but for the first time, it doesn't work. At all.

And there is a difference between the past times and today.

His mesmerizing blue eyes always hold a look that is full of determination, trust and joy-a little bit of everything- at those times.

But not this time.

This time, it is full of pain. And hatred.

And shame. And confuse.

"Oh that's a shame. You mind if I ask you why?"

"It's just...it's complicated." He sighed and said to me.

Snow is still falling with chilly gusts of wind and gray cloud are covering the sun- the common mid-January weather.

But with us, we could only felt the silence building up between me and Felix. It's just like we have a wall between us.

I can't say one word. It's so complicated that he couldn't at least let me know what is his feeling right now? That isn't what me and Felix do as friends.

That isn't what we've done in the past.

But oh wait.

I can't blame him.

I am also bottling my emotions in front of him.

I am forcing myself not to run to him and kiss him on the lips every time I see him.

I forced myself not to hold his hands when we're walking together with only us on the streets of the city when I'm looking at his beautiful blue eyes.

I made myself think that we're just friends and we only could be friends every time he pulled my hand with his child-like excitement every time we walked to the ice rink or theme parks.

I pushed myself away from the thought of the day we could be together, just me and Felix together.

I hide it in front of him by becoming a bit distant when we're talking and act like I don't really care about him.

I hide it in front of my family and friends by making myself busy in front of him.

I hide it in front of the world by a smile and the famous saying "I'm fine."

And when I can't bottling it anymore, I sent it in my salty teardrops and silent cry at night.

In loneliness.

When I am not fine.

And now I am biting my lip and hiding my emotions, for not to cry and hug him when I am standing in front of him.

Just like those snowflakes.

Silently falling down to the ground.

Just like what I was born with; snow in my spirit.

"It's that complicated?"

"Yes, Jordan, it is THAT complicated. It isn't as simple as your mind and I know you wouldn't understand that much because you're selfish enough to never let me live my life and becoming a freaking brat that ruins my life." Felix spat.

Then my bottle started to break out.

How could he say those things? How could he say that after everything I had done to him? After the times when I literally became his all-the-time supporter?

After that, I said with a broken voice and a holding for not letting tears escaped my eyes:

"Oh really? How can you say I'm selfish when I literally let you HANG OUT with your ex and completely forget me, who is YOUR BEST FRIEND, since this past June? Who would be 'selfish' enough to let you completely DITCHED him for half a year, Felix?"

"Oh please, you have so much things to keep you busy to basically forget about me." Felix backfired. And then I did an action that I never,ever forget for life (partly because Felix had always reminded me of that); I jumped up onto the air (I'm 5"8, while Felix is 6".) and slapped Felix so hard in the face that the sound of my hand contacting his skin could be heard from a block away from where we're standing.

"You're such a douchebag."

I said while tears started to drop. Hot, salty drops that I had kept for myself for so long. Too long.

And I ran away. Away from him.

With myself still crying and broken.

He pushed me away.

The last person in the whole world that I thought would care about me after what happened.

Well, he was damn right.

I am useless; I can't play basketball or soccer like other normal kids; I can cheer, but that's not what they say boys would do.

I am not as tough or tall and strong like other boys.

I don't have a perfect report card.

I don't hit on pretty girls like other boys here. Heck, I don't even LIKE girls.

I don't even want to think about girls kissing me.

I am not a normal guy.

I am worthless.

Worthless.

Ugly.

A disgrace that were born.

And that "disgrace" fell in love with the angel.

A perfect man with athletic body and perfect grades and is loved by everyone.

A man that I- a short, skinny, weak, shy and wrecked person- could never fit perfectly.

Maybe, just maybe, he needs someone else.

Someone who is not me.

Someone who is better than me.

*Felix's POV*

"What.Have.You.Done, Felix Reed?" Krystal, Jordan's older sister, asked me with a murderous tone.

I know I made Jordan mad, but did I hurt him that bad?

So bad that he couldn't hold his optimistic and hopeful self anymore.

Oh, what have I done?

I made the person I secretly love hurts so bad that he broke down in front of me.

"I don't know, Krystal. I...actually don't know what to do now." I said to Krystal through the phone. I found this way less scary because I honestly don't want anyone to see me in this state.

I am sitting in my bedroom, which is full of shattered glass, broken picture frames and torn pictures of me and Amanda.

I was angry that she cheated on me.

Hell it, I'm not angry because she cheated on me with another guy.

I'm angry because she offended him.

Amanda had called my secret crush a hooker when we broke up.

Yep, you heard it right. A hooker. A prostitute.

While just last month she still call Jordan "the third musketeer."

And now, I am talking to Krystal, as a confused person seeking for a solution.

Why? Well duh, I don't have to spill out another word.

Krystal is Jordan's sister. And he only has his sisters-Jessica and Krystal- as his supporters, but they are still far too busy to actually know about what he is coping through right now.

"I don't know. What should I do right now, Krystal?"

"Get to his place and say to him that you're sorry.You better feel thankful that I don't kill my own friends." Krystal said in a warning, mixed with a bit of worry and sympathy tone.

Huh, she was right. Like she always does.

I need to save our friendship first before I do anything else.

Driving all the way to his house, through the chilly wind and freezing rain, I only hope that he wouldn't lose his mind.

Because if so, he could put himself in great danger.

And I'm praying that I won't have to see him dead in front of my eyes.

-At Jordan's house, Felix knocks on the door.-

"Oh hello Ms.Jung. Is Jordan home?"

"He left. He said that he needs some time alone. But he told me to give this to you." His mother handed me a letter and my eyes went wide when I opened it. It was from Jordan, with his beautiful English handwriting and a tear stain on the top right corner:

"Dear Felix,

When you're reading this letter, I've already going on my way to end my own life.

But I know I can't go if I don't tell you this.

I love you,Felix Reed. Since a long time ago. And it hurts me so much that I have to say it out loud.

Why? Because I've kept it to myself for so long.

Oh hell it, why am I even bother to tell you that? You've already started to disgust me because of this. And I know what you're thinking now "I can't believe I'm friends with that person.". It's fine, you know? I'm used to that.

I'm used to people pushing me away.

I know no one want to be friends with me. And you shouldn't be friends with me.

Because I'm abnormal.

I'm not tall, muscular and strong like you.

I'm not as smart as you are.

I'm nothing to you.

And don't forget that I like boys.

Gosh, I know that you wouldn't read this, but I can't keep it to myself much longer.

I hate to keep everything to myself, you know? It's just...it's so painful that I think that the only remedy for my pain is to end me. To end my existence to the world to let you continue to live with your life.

To lighten your burden by make sure that I- a damaged good- get out of your life forever.

To let people laugh at me, even though I'm already dead. Like what I'm deserve to be.

Like what I would do to protect you-letting people laugh and scowl and humiliate me, to make sure that you wouldn't get hurt from those words. And always hope that you will be happy.

Like what I say to you the first time we went along the Han river together through Mapo Bridge.

I still keep my promise. I will keep my promise, even if I can't be there for you anymore.

And before I leave here, I just want to say to you that:

Just be happy. And you know in a distance, I will be happy for you, even if the one who makes you happy is not me.

Why? Because I have fallen in love with you.

I love your happy self, and please, please keep being that person-the optimistic, hopeful Felix that everyone loves to be with, even if I can't be there to cheer you up anymore.

And at last, live a long, happy life.

Your best friend, Jordan "Joo-nam" Jung.

I dropped the letter and started to ask Jordan's mom in a fearful, worried and weak voice:

-Did he say where he's going?

"Mapo Bridge." She said in a stern voice. Just like her everyday self- don't actually care about her son.

But my eyes went wide.

And I couldn't tell how scared I was.

Oh no. The nightmare that I always feared is happening.

I tried my hardest to tell her:

"I have to go to Mapo Bridge."

"Why, dear?" His mom asked me, still in a "I-don't-really-care" voice, but I've already picked up the letter and rushed to the subway station, ignoring his mother's confused expression.

"Please Jordan, don't do anything dumb." I said to myself while running through the streets of the city to the infamous Mapo Bridge- the "Suicide Bridge" of the city of Seoul.

Jordan is how I survived until today.

I can't let the person I love the most die because of my fault.

*Jordan's POV*

Should I do it?

No, what about Felix? Wouldn't you break his heart if you do it?

Yes, Jordan, just do it. He doesn't care about you.

No, Jordan, don't! You're his everything.

In your dreams, Jordan! He won't woe for you if you die. You're nothing more than just a bad person who used to be friends.

No, stop! Stop and think about everyone else for a bit!

No one cares about you, Jordan! Just jump down that bridge! You won't be scared anymore. You won't have to cry and feel hurt anymore.

You have to live.

Go down and die, Jordan.

My head is still fighting whether or not I should jump down the bridge and die or get rid of that intention and continue to live, while I am standing at the edge of Mapo bridge.

The city is still living on with its life, with cars still running as the rush hour is going to start soon.

And it is not so far from the Lunar New Year anymore, so people are getting more busy buying gifts and food to celebrate the holiday.

But not my family.

My sisters won't be at home during the New Year. For the 6th time in a row.

I understood it-they're busy. They have to take care of their studies in university and such, but what kind of sister would not talk to her own brother when he needs them the most, although we live in the same freaking city?

Jessica and Krystal Jung.

My sisters.

The people that almost every time you call, you would only hear voicemail answers.

Just like my father.

And the rest of the family.

They won't even talk to me.

And this Lunar New Year, I would never think that it is that near if I never talked to my other Korean-American friends.

Just like last year.

I started to cross the pavements and waited for my death.

Waited for my freedom. From the painful reality.

But right before I could walk up there, a strong force and a familiar voice had pulled me back.

"What are you doing, Jordan?"

*Felix's POV*

"Oh, look who it is! It's Mr.Douchebag coming to rescue me! Oh I thought you would have going out and celebrating me got out of your life!" Jordan said sarcastically. I furiously answered him:

"It's not funny,Jordan. What the hell do you think your mind just done?"

"It's not your business." He answered sternly.

Since when did he become like this?

Since when did he lose who he was?

"You were right. It's not my business. It's not my business when my best friend in the whole wide world just almost kill himself and I am so close from becoming the bad guy and let you there to death. It's not my business that my friend doesn't act like himself anymore. It's none of my business that my best friend never tell me anything that he is coping through. It's none of MY business that..." I was saying right before Jordan cut my words and he started to shout out all his thoughts:

"Oh, you know why I did all that? Because I missed you! And because I feel lonely without you! Since the day you go out with Amanda, you won't talk to me anymore! No one does in those 6 months! And it hurts to see that! You think I want to act busy in front of you? No! Oh gosh, hell no! I tried to forget about you while you are doing who-knows-what with Amanda. And you were too busy to give me a minute! And I...I..."

Then he started to break down in tears.

I didn't realized at that time, I am also crying. For him.

Because of him.

Heated, heavy drop fell on my face.

And I ran to him and hugged him tight.

"I'm sorry, Jordan! I should've known about it." I talked while still sobbing.

"No, I'm sorry for making you feel bad." Jordan answered, crying.

"No, I was the one who have to say it."

"You don't have to. It was my fault."

And it just goes on, me and Jordan comforting each other in tears.

It made me realized; I was a douchebag to him. I hurt him so bad that I almost lose him.

But I realized that before it happens.

Why?

Because I love him.

And when we love someone, we would never hurt them, right?

-----------*-----------

When we finally stop crying, he did a thing that I would never believe he did it.

He cupped my cheeks and crashed his lips with mine.

And it sent me fireworks and sparks everywhere.

His lips and mine fits perfectly, like two halves of a heart.

I kissed him back in the most passionate way possible.

At that one moment, both of us just forget about everything: the cold gusting wind,the snow, the looks of people, the sounds of traffic...

At that time, both of us were so happy that they forgot about the world for a while.

With a dazed expression, Felix started to talk to me:

-I'm... in love with you, Jordan. I really am.

Then he took a deep breath and spilled the deep secret that he tried to cover up until now:

-Ever since a year and a half ago, I... have developed feelings for you. And I can't take my eyes out of you, Jordan.

Then his voice started to shatter a bit:

-At first, I...started to ignore it and pretend like it never happened. And pretend to, to you that we're just friends. And,and I became Amanda's boyfriend to distract myself from you. But then I realized that, that I can't...do that. Because I... I love you, Jordan.

But before he could say any other explanation, I crashed my lips above his; and I could feel all of his purest joy and affection exploded in that kiss: his body heat just made me got drunk in affections and love.

A heart could be shattered or having scratches all over the place, but they still closes the gap if they fit, you know?

And he just did that to me.

He just healed my heart. My once shattered, broken heart.

And I kissed him back.

Our lips moved in sync. Just what I never remembered when kissing Amanda.

It felt like heaven was shining upon us.

We only stops when our lips parted because of the need of oxygen.

"Woah." He said. "It was..."

"Amazing." I finished his sentence. And we both smiled and look inside each other's eyes.

For the first time in a while, his eyes has held happiness again.

Like the look that he gave me while opening his Christmas presents when we spent the first Christmas together as friends.

Like the time he saw The Nutcracker when we spent that Christmas.

Like all the other happy times we spent together.

And I felt sorry for him.

For making him going through all the hard times while I forgot about him.

For being the reason why he had to go through the loneliest 6 months of his life.

And I know,

I have to make up for all those times.

I have to do what he just did to me- healing my wounded heart.

But his voice brought me back to reality:

"What if the whole school starts to humiliate you too, Felix? And how about your reputation? And about your dad? Will he accept us?"

Well sure, I do have a reputation as the famous jock and the captain of the basketball team, while Jordan is the nerd of the school.

I do have my father, who I don't really know whether or not he would accept us.

But hell it, I don't care about all of it right now.

All I care about now is him.Just him.

I looked at him with all of my sincerity and said:

"Jordan, I love you and you do know I never lie to you, right?"

He nodded. Then I held his hand firmly and looked into his brown eyes:

" Then you need to stop doubting, because at the end of the day, everything would be fine. And I think you should've known this before, but whatever things got in between us, I won't let go of your hand. Ever."

"Promise?" He asked.

"Promise. Now give me a smile." I said sincerely, then playfully.

He gave me a playing-hard-to-get expression:

"No,I won't. I'm mad at you now."

But oh well, not everyone could possibly resist puppy eyes, right?

"Please? Pretty pretty please?" I said in the most adorable voice I could pop out and my puppy, which actually works: he smiled broadly and pecked my nose:

"Oh you and your puppy charms." He said and shook his heads.

"I would say that I am using your attraction to mine." I answered as Jordan started to laugh and said between them:

"True fact, dopey."

Then I offered him my head, which he gratefully held it.

"Now, we're going home." I said.

The snowflakes of January keeps falling as the sun goes down and Jordan rested his head on my shoulders as we walked back to the subway station.

It was a freezing cold day with lots and lots of snow falling since noon and a strong gust that sent chills to everyone, but not with us two.

Jordan is now in my arms, after everything.

And I will make sure I won't lose him again.

I will keep him tight in my arms, as long as I lived.

Because I can't stand losing him again once more...

I've madly fallen in love with him. And I won't ever let go of him.

-Chapter III: The promise, made under the winter snow.-

*Jordan's POV* (11 months later, on that year's New Year's Day)

"Where are we going, Felix?" I asked him with confusion. He is literally dragging me through the city on New Year's Day, under the heavy snow of late December.

Well, he said that he has a surprise for me. But he has to know after 3 years becoming my friend that I don't like being blindfolded and I don't really like surprises.

And after 10 months of being my boyfriend after the 3 years of becoming my friend, he still didn't remember that.

Well, Telling that Felix is just my best friend and my Albert (the name of the prince in The Nutcracker) would be a slight understatement.

He is also my savior. My knight in shining armor.

The man who was there for me when I have no hope to hold on.

The one who protected me from all the homophobic insults and cyberbullying back in Kent School.

The person who helped me to get through the 6-month long therapy for my self-harm,depression and suicidal thoughts. The one I owed so much, because without him, I wouldn't survive until today...

"Okay, now you can open your eyes." Felix's sweet loving voice whispered into my ears.

And my mouth dropped open.

You know where had he brought me to?

Cheonggyecheon Stream.

The place where I love the most throughout the town.

"Wait, I thought we're going to go ice skating?" I asked.

"Changing plans." Felix answered me. That jerk. Always ruining my supposed-to-be normal days.

But he always "ruined" those days with something beautiful at the end.

And this time, the beautiful thing is the lights and the prettiness of the "Spring" tower and the sounds of the water flowing through the city, reflected with so many vibrant colors of sunlight.

And snow has just stop falling when we get here.

It was beautiful.

It looks like the time has just stop.

It feels like the city that used to be so loud, so vibrant and moves so fast just stops and slow down for a bit.

Because for goodness sake, it was 8 o'clock in the morning, and at this time of the day, you can't see the crowds anymore, so there wasn't a lot of people on the bridge.

It was so...peaceful.

Like we're going on a trip to the countryside.

"So...you know I love you so much, right?" Felix asked me.

"Yeah, you said it every day." I said. He never stops surprising me, so I wondered to myself that what is he trying to tell me?

Is he proposing me?

Or...

Is he breaking up with me? Because I'm not good enough for him?

I didn't pass the test?

I don't know...

I have mixed emotions for this.

But Felix's sweet voice brought me out of my thoughts.

"Hey Jordan, I wanna tell you something.Something important"

I asked him, without even looking at him (but I said it in a fascinating voice):

"Okay, tell me.I'm still listening, don't worry."

"Turn around, love." He said.

And then my eyes went wide, when pulled out one thing I never expected him to give me.

Well, not right now.

*Felix's POV*

Okay, so let me get this thing in one place: I didn't originally plan today for Jordan at Cheonggyecheon.

At first, I thought that the ice rink near Grand Hyatt hotel would be great for him.

He never got the chance to go ice skating back home.

And he always said to me that he would like to go ice-skating on New Year's Day.

But the crowds ruins everything.

The ice rinks was so crowded on New Year's Day because of people going that I think (and I know) that it would make Jordan feel uncomfortable.

I want my love to feel comfortable for this date between us two, as I am going to do one of the hardest thing I ever done in my life.

If you guys are thinking that I am proposing to him, you're almost right. Almost.

I am actually giving him an eternity ring. As a promise from me to him.

That I would never leave him, as long as I shall live.

I waited until when he starts to admiring the beauty of Cheonggyecheon in this crispy cold morning to whisper sweetly in his ears:

"Hey Jordan, I wanna tell you something.Something really important."

"Okay, tell me.I'm listening right now.Don't worry." He didn't look at me, but fascination stills presents in his voice.

"Turn around, love." I said to him, when I started to pull out a beautiful silver eternity ring and he was turning around.

"Jordan 'Joo-nam' Jung, will you remain by my side, until death do us part?"

*Jordan's POV*

I was speechless.

He just basically asked me to be his love for good. By the eternity ring

And he just said so, at the exact right time and place; at my favorite place, on my favorite time of the day.

I have to tried my best to say the word, to not let myself broke down in tears of happiness:

"Yes."

And he slide it to my ring finger, just before I pulled him close to me and we kissed.

*Felix's POV*

He said yes. He said YES!

I mentally celebrated, as his hands are on my neck and we are totally kissing.

Oh those lips always knows how to mesmerize me...It always know how to clear up my mind...

And when our lips parted, I look again at his eyes.

Those beautiful hazelnut brown eyes.

For almost 4 years, I've seen those eyes through many emotions.

From a shy look when we first met.

To a happy look when we started becoming friends.

To that joyful look when he saw flurries for the first time.

To a hopeful one when he cheered for me in basketball.

A determined look when he performs on stage.

Depressed, hopeless, full of doubting and hesitation when I almost lost him.

And a lovestruck, faithful look when he is looking at me, right now. The look that I've always adore since a long time ago.

Everything right now is just... purely perfect. I can't ask for anything better than this.

Both of us had gone through so much to be together at last. And I would go through life with him, as long as we both shall live.

"I love you." I said to him.

He simply replied: " I love you, Felix. Forever, and always."

-Chapter IV: Epilogue-

*Felix's POV*

"No!" Jordan screamed and woke up, his face and palms all sweaty.

This isn't the first time he got nightmares like this. And his problems is getting much worse since last January, when I stopped him from jumping off Mapo Bridge.

I wrapped my hands around him and whispered into his ears:

"Hey, hey, it's fine. It's just a nightmare. You're safe now."

Then he turned around and hold on to me like his life depends on it.

"But I'm scared..."

"I know, baby. But you're okay now." I draw circles on his back as he hugged me tight, but soon afterwards, he loosen his grip and drifted back into a drowsy sleep, with his head rested on my torso.

I looked at his face, which had already turned pale from not eating well and bags are building under his eyes.

My love had to gone through so much. Too much.

From the on-going depression and nightmares haunting his life every single day, to the bullying both online and in school; he has to go through everything, not because I abandoned him again, but because I have to deal with it myself.

Luckily, my dad and Jordan's mom supported us, but the people in school doesn't: from the "oh-so-famous-and-handsome" jock of the school, now I became the 2nd target of the whole school for insults and homophobic slurs, aside from Jordan himself.

I took no crap whatsoever from anyone, so they would leave me alone after a while, but instead of moving on with their own lives and their mean hearts, they chose to bully Jordan.

And I couldn't know who had did this, because he won't tell me.

Staying awake in the sounds of a late rainy night on the start of April and Jordan's soft snores, I was thinking about what could I do to protect my precious guy...

My best friend for 3 years since when I was a freshman, and now my boyfriend- Jordan "Joo-nam" Jung- is suffering from things that he didn't deserve to suffer, but I don't know what to do.

I'm in the intersection of either accept the fact that this is my last year here and next year will be Jordan's; or stand up for our own rights and ask his mom about bailing him out of this school.

I'm stuck in a bunch of hard choices...

*Jordan's POV*

"Approaching Achasan station..." Said the intercom on a wet, early April morning.

And with me, it is approaching the hellpit, which is much worse than the weather right now in Seoul- wet and windy. Where we called "school".

I cringed every time anyone mentioned about the school that I am studying as a 'school', not a bully hub like what it really is.

The school said they have zero tolerance towards bullying. But they still act oblivious when it involves me in it.

But I still don't want to move.

I'm afraid. That if I move schools, the new school will be much worse than this place.

And this place for me is already hell. I couldn't imagine places that is even worse than hell.

I tiredly pushed the door to get inside, just to be greeted with a violent push from the basketball team.

Who used to be my and Felix's great friends now became our worst enemies.

"Oh I'm sorry, I haven't see you there, fag." Seth, one of the top basketball players, said and spat on me.

I just stood up and limped to my lockers. It was really recognizable, because of the density of mean words and slurs on it.

FAG.

WORTHLESS.

UGLY.

And just in time when I think nothing could be worse, a giant set of letters, written in black air spray paint just made me burst into tears.

GO TO HELL.

DIE, HOMO, DIE!

I pushed through people and shut the door of the bathroom stall.

I could take a lot, but I couldn't take it in anymore.

What have I done to deserve to be like this?

To be considered as the outcast of the school? The target of the jocks, the mean girls and basically everyone?

I just cried and cried, until my mind sparks up an idea.

But it's not a good one.

I pulled out the razor blade that I hid it in my backpack.

Even Felix doesn't know that I harmed myself a lot of times.

I started to slide the blade through my pale wrist.

One for being worthless.

One for being weak.

One for being ugly.

One for being gay.

One for...

My sight started to blur when I cut the 4th one. Then I dropped the blade onto the ground, as I collapsed onto the floor on my own blood and teardrops.

Then everything goes black.

------*------

I woke up in a white room, with the strong scent of sanitizer in the air.

I turned my head, just to find Felix sleeping with his hands rested on the side of my bed.

He has bags underneath his eyes and his face has turned pale.

I had caused so many problems for him. All the problems that he doesn't deserve to deal with.

From the bullies, to my depression, my failed attempt of committing suicide, and my self-harm, he had to deal with all of them, and he also have his own busy life.

I was so deep in my thought that I woke Felix up.

"Hey Jordy." He whispered in a sleepy tune, and a tired look.

But he still smiled at me, the angelic smile of his.

It never changed.

"Feeling better?" He fix himself up and asked me.

I silently nodded, and he understood.

He is still here for me, no matter what I've done.

He loves me. And I love him.

*Felix's POV*

"I don't wanna go there anymore." Jordan said. It wasn't the first time he said that before we go to the therapist after Jordan is discharged from the hospital.

After he was discharged from the hospital in that incident of him cutting himself with a razor blade in Kent, lots of things happened; his mom knew what happened and withdrew him from the school, and his days of suffering from the bullies had finally come to an end; Jordan and myself has to go through a mental therapy, because of his self-harm, suicidal thoughts and depression; with me, it was the nightmares.

Every time I close my eyes, my mind drifted back to that day, when I saw Jordan in the bathroom stall, a pool of blood underneath him and his face turn ghastly white.

He was lying unconscious on the floor, with a razor blade right next to him.

I couldn't forget that image.

Jordan also seems tired, also: anti-depression pills and therapy sessions really drained every last of energy he got left in his body, to lead to this moment when he sat in the kitchen with bags under his eyes and his hair got all messy. He has dangerously skinny and I've already have to force him to eat something, or else he'll starve himself.

I looked into his eyes. Those sparkling eyes didn't fill with happiness this time. It was sadness and lost filled in his eyes.

"Hey, baby, you know I love you for the way you are, right?" I asked him, but he sighed.

"I know, but why can't you love me for the way I currently am? Depressed, a mess of emotions? Why, Felix?"

"Because I know the Jordan I'm seeing right now is not the real Jordan. It's not the ball of sunshine that I fell in love with. And I know you had a hard time, and I had a hard time also, but I can't stop myself from hugging and comforting you everytime I see you like this." I gently lifted up his face and clear out his messy hair that covered his sparkling eyes.

Then I held his hands firmly:

"Jordan, you're not alone. You aren't and you'll never be. Because you and I are gonna go through this together."

"Promise?" Jordan whispered.

"Promise." I answered.

*Jordan's POV*

"Promise."

That word echoes in my mind every time I remembered how I got through that hard time.

I was so closed to lose hope, until Felix shows up, on a snowy winter night.

I was so sad like the grey winter clouds, and Felix give me flurries of hope.

And when I feel like I want to quit and not trying to get out of the snowy pile of sadness and loneliness anymore, he pulled me out of it.

So that we could get to this day.

The day when we are going to be together for good.

I finished high school with a excellent diploma and am now attending Tufts University as a senior.

Felix graduated from Boston Uni with a GPA of 4.2 and a high-paying job.

And right now, we're standing at a beautiful hill, ready to dedicate our own lives for each other.

"I pronounced you, husband and husband. You can kiss the groom." The priest said to Felix, and we kissed in a wave of awe and applause from everyone in the room.

We are officially married. After all the storms we have to go through, we are finally married.

"I love you, Jordan." Felix whispered in my ears after the kiss.

"I love you, Felix. Forever, and always." I replied to him.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

-The End-