My angel,
my world

Flashback. June 2017 Part 8:1

Ruby pov.

You stood up and just dismissed whatever transpired as stress and everything that happened the day ago. You will not entertain heartache anymore.

Samantha came and fetched you, and you were all smiles and full of life. Today you will enjoy and be happy for being alive and well, and you got a great family and great friends. Jimin will be pushed back as part of your remarkable past and a great memory.

You and Samantha have a top-notch friendship. You were both laughing and squabbling in the car, wrestling over the CD player to blast your favorite tunes.

Samantha grinned, "Oh, come on, Ruby... I've got heaps of the boys' songs downloaded. Let's crank that up. The Wings album is a real winner."

You chuckled softly, "You heard what Brendon said. He's not keen on you going all out for those 'Korean guys.' Brendon ain't impressed by the affection his partner openly shows for the band."

Samantha just clicked her tongue dismissively, "Brendon can go jump in a pool of lava... those guys make every day a ripper, so... let's listen, please."

You shook your head and hit the play button. BTS's voices filled the car with the smooth vibes of "Blood, Sweat, and Tears." You were surprised at how well Samantha could belt out the lyrics. She was grooving and bopping to the beat, just hoping she wouldn't bump into cars nearby.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmE9f-TEutc

It is quite an interesting song. You haven't even listened to the DVD and CD collection that Jimin gift you with. You're going to leave it in the packages and give it to Becky on her birthday. 

In no time, you reach the Westfield Bondi Junction Mall. Samantha got a good parking space near the entrance. You took your bags and with giddiness start the rest of your shopping day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpyzO6m0i2Y

You and Samantha went to all the shops that have clothing sales. You both don't want to be broke after your trip. Your mom will kill you if she found out you wasted all your spending money from your scholarship fund. You saved the whole spending from your first year to date. Samantha got al a lot of cash because her paternal grandmother adopted her when her mother died. She didn't want her only granddaughter living with her mother's tribe. Her father works abroad and sends her big bickies every month.

Samantha also gets lots of money from modeling jobs here in Sydney. She wanted you to also get into modeling, but you don't want to be in entertainment. When you were fourteen and an exchange student for a year, your host family was very much into dancing and acting, and you and their daughter became fast friends, and both of you landed a part in a Disney series.

You loved acting, and the spotlight wasn't for you. Needless to say, when the year ended, your mom didn't renew your contract with the production company, and she let you come home. Your friend was crying because she became more well-known in America since her debut. 

You only have memories of two or three magazines you both featured in. Your mom took your acting money and saved it up for you. Now Samantha wants you also to become a swimsuit model like her. According to her, you are skinny, and it will suit you. But you always decline.

Samantha took your hand and dragged you to her favorite take-out restaurant. Mc Donalds. You decided to sit in.

"Let's grab brekkie first, then hit up all the shops. I'm in dire need of new kicks!" she exclaimed cheerfully. But you wrinkled your nose, feeling queasy from this morning's nausea. Eating wasn't on your agenda right now.

"I already ate something, but I've been feeling queasy since this morning. I don't want to upset my stomach any further," you explained. Just the scent of those oily chips could set off a bout of nausea.

"We'll grab something from the chemist for that dodgy stomach of yours. It's probably from all those fancy foods at the Executive lounge every day and maybe all that sushi we've been chowing down," she raised her eyebrows in an "I told you so" manner.

You shook your head, grinning, "You're like my mum... thinks every little pain needs a pill. I'll be alright, don't stress."

Samantha smiled at the waiter who took you to your booth. You ordered only a muffin and a cuppa, but Samantha claimed she was hungry like a lion and opted for the Aussie Brekkie.

You enjoyed your time in Mcdonald's. Talking about your studies and the topic you don't want to touch, Greg.

"Ruby, reckon you'll be alright heading back to uni? The last couple of months have been a shocker for you. Your five-year relationship going kaput meant you spent a month with your mate in South Africa trying to get back on your feet. You've been through the wringer, yet you're holding up mentally... you've just become a bit quieter," she said, looking at you with concern.

"Yeah, I'm done with Greg, but the hurt's still there. No worries though, I'll bounce back with time. Time's a healer. Found more pics of us in my purse and just torched the lot. Wishing him all the happiness, and I hope she's everything he needs, like he predicted, his soulmate," you said.

""Oh, seriously, Brendon's mates with Kurt, who's mates with Greg. Apparently, Mr. Greg Sutherland turned out to be a bit dodgy. He got his status while on vacation. His girlfriend got a soul mark. She's a year older than us, so she's got a soulmate out there somewhere. I wonder how Greg will feel if she meets her true match... karma's a funny thing."

You held back a breakdown. Just on the verge of tearing up again, you managed, "It's alright, Sam, I'd rather not talk about him... I might get emotional now."

You were mocked at uni when Greg dumped you for a beautiful blonde bombshell. The fake friends laughed behind your back and made a fool of you on social media. Greg didn't even let you mourn about the break-up. He was just loved up with his new beau—posting pics from their holidays and their fabulous dates.

He never even likes to take you out weekly, but there is a new post about him and Willow every day, whatever her name is. You felt so hurt, and now you met Jimin, and you got hurt again.

You don't know if your love for the pop star will wane, and it scares you tremendously.

The night before, you decided never to let love rule your mind again. Love is not for you. Greg took your best single years, and Jimin took your heart. You don't have anything to give anybody right now. For you as a TARNISHED is better to stay alone and become a spinster.

Samantha dragged you from shop to shop. From Dior, Louis Vittone, Chanel, all her favorite shops. By 2 pm you were tired of shopping. You only bought two sundresses and cute fashionable knitted swimwear, a trending item in one of your favorite designer online stores.

You and Samantha went back to your house and had a relaxing day outside on the porch until you felt the need to cook an early supper. So, instead, you enjoyed a glass of ginger beer.

Samantha helped you also with the dinner prepared for the family. Your mom might be early from work today. You are all so proud of her. She was studying and completing her medical degree.

In the kitchen, you made Zucchini slices and Beef stroganoff with green beans and pasta.

You were having a relaxing time together. Samantha is genuinely your safe place. You don't know what you're going to do without her. Brendon wants to move to Perth to work after his graduation at a very exclusive Engineering company before starting his own. You are going to miss her if she and Brendan decide to relocate.

She glanced tentatively at your fingers, as if noticing them for the first time. "Um... Ruby?"

You glanced up at her while you were busy wiping the counters. "Yeah," you replied, finishing up with the food.

"Holy Doley! Where'd you score those sick rings from... I saw a similar one online just yesterday... a BTS member had one of those Erica rings... they're not cheap... where did you get such pricey rings? I'm only just noticing them now," she said, taking your fingers and inspecting the rings closely. You visibly paled, feeling your stomach churn as a sudden wave of nausea overwhelmed you.

You grab your mouth and with a muffled "excuse me," you ran with speed to the guest restroom located on the bottom floor. You throw up all your lunch again. Finally, you heave up and down and lay your flustered face on the closed lid of the toilet.

Samantha bolted after you and saw your state, looking real worried and concerned at your sweaty face.

"Is it food poisoning? You barely touched brekkie, just a bran muffin... You alright, Ruby?" She patted your back where you sat on the floor.

"I...I dunno what's happened. After brekkie this mornin', I felt crook as a dog. Chucked up a few times before you came and now again... Dunno what I ate." You grabbed a cloth, wiping the sweat off your face.

Samantha's face twisted, a mix of shock and surprise, as she stumbled over what she was about to ask, "Um... Ruby, have you already had your monthly?"

You looked at her deadpan, "Wh... What d'ya mean?... Of course I...I..." Then it hit you, "Oh my gosh, no! Sam, it's all happened so quick... I didn't even notice... OMG!!!" Fear washed over you.

Samantha's expression turned horrified, "Holy Dooley, mate... did you and Greg...? I thought you said you'd never... do that."

Your face mirrored her horror, "Samantha... oh my gosh, Samantha... I... I'm in strife... Oh gosh... my mum's gonna kill me." Tears streamed down your face as you fanned yourself.

Samantha crouched down, trying to comfort you. But deep down, you knew nothin' could make you feel better. How could this happen? You were always level-headed, more than Samantha. How'd you let your guard down? Jimin... Holy Dooley!!!

"Ruby, don't cry... let's think. When did you and Greg decide to get back together? You need to tell him, Ruby... First, he breaks your heart, and now this!" She looked furious.

You looked up at her, voice strangled, "I... It isn't  Greg."

"What!" She leapt up, shocked. "W...When did this happen?"

You sucked in a breath, guilt etched all over your face, "At the hotel we worked... The bloke I mentioned, um, Nick. It was a one-off. I felt so cared for and... and... it went too far." Tears welled up again.

"Blimey, Ruby, the 'Nick' bloke who left the hotel a few days before you quit? How can we get in touch with him? The moral code's gonna have a go at you if he's already matched with a soulmate... if you're expecting , you're in for a hefty penalty... both of you." She looked petrified for you.

The moral code watches are in place to keep the moral value of the citizens intact, to protect future soulmates from their soulmates' indiscretions. It only gets in operation when you turn 20, ready to receive your soul mark.

If you are Tarnished, you get a free pass, but if you are over 20, it's illegal to have intimacy with someone that's not your soulmate. You can get away from dating secretly a marked one but " The intimacy ritual" trigger the system and then check on both parties. Also, beware if you're found pregnant with another's child.

But under 20, it's regarded as puppy love, experimental love. You only get fined if the evidence is found.

You don't know what you're going to do. Your life as you know it is over.

Samantha stood up and, with determination look down at your seated position.

""Ruby, reckon I'll dash to the chemist and snag a pregnancy kit real quick. Let's make sure before we go full-on stressing over nothin'. Might just be a scare... okay? Freshen up your face and slap on some makeup. If your mum swings back, she shouldn't suss out your feelings... come on, let's check on our meal." You nodded, feeling overwhelmed, and just followed her to your room.

You dab some powder on your face and follow her to the kitchen to check on your dinner. Samantha quickly grabbed her car keys and ran to her car to the nearest pharmacy. She hoped there wouldn't be anyone nosy that will spot her.

After a few minutes, Samantha was back, out of breath. She needs to be with her friend now.

.....A few minutes later...

You were running to your room, bang your room door open, and fell crying non-stop on your bed after Samantha told you the results. You are going to be a mom, and you're not ready for it.

Samantha was consoling you lying next to you on the bed. Caressing your shoulders as you were sobbing non-stop.

How in the world will you tell your mother? Your mom is very strict, and she is like you blessed with a fiery temper. You know she will flip. You can't afford to have a baby. How will you take care of it?

You promise Jimins' management that you will not contact him, speak to the journo,  you'll forget your encounters, and get rid of any evidence. You practically signed a contract to stay away from him. But you went back on your word. You send and transfer all your images and proof of your time together to a USB and locked it in a safe place. You couldn't get yourself to delete his number but only blocked his messages.

A few weeks ago, you missed him so much, that you cried yourself to sleep most nights. You couldn't understand what was happening to you. He is not your soulmate, but the intense love that you still feel was worrisome. You closed your ears to any news from the guys. They made news everywhere. They went to Japan and had incredible concerts there. Maybe he found another girl cause you knew he was a flirt. Fortunately, you're off social media, and you didn't have to watch him moving on. But you love him still. Maybe you'll be able to fall out of love like you did that month with Greg. Hopefully, with time.

You almost gave in to unblocking his number several times, but by now, he knows you blocked him because you will see no messages that he sends. The server rejected it.

But one day, you gave in and sent him a simple text after unblocking him for a brief moment.

I'm so sorry. I still love you. Be happy and healthy.  ❤

Then you blocked his number again. Now, this happened. He's going to be a young dad at 22 years, but he'll never know. How will you be able to hide your baby's identity?  What if your baby looks like Jimin? Samantha will realize you had something with one of the Asian crew. She'll never be able to fathom that a band member was interested in you. You are not as beautiful as Liz or Greg's new girlfriend.

Samantha decided to stay with you and face your mom together as moral support. She knows how your mom can be.

That evening it was hell in your house.

It was like your mom could get a heart attack. Samantha was also getting a piece of the slasher's mouth.

""Blimey, how in the world did this happen?! You were dead set on not gettin' close with Greg, your bloke for five whole years... and in just a few days, you... you end up knocked up!"

"Mom... I'm sorry, I—" you began, your lips and hands shaking. She stared at you, an expression of wanting to throttle you clearly visible in her eyes.

"Oh my gosh, Ruby, do you even realize what this family's goin' through? This house, your school, Bryant... oh my gosh... your dad's gonna blow a fuse," she ranted, clutching her hair, completely forgetting her recent hairdo.

Samantha stood quietly, heartbroken seeing the pain in her friend's eyes while her mother continued her rant.

"What's this bloke's name?... give me his number. I wanna sit down with him and his folks... He's gotta take responsibility. It takes two to tango," she demanded, reaching out her shaky hands for your mobile phone.

Your face went pale. There was no number for this so-called "Nick." What were you gonna do?

Samantha's eyes widened, "Aunt Shelly—"

Your mum's gaze shot towards Samantha, who visibly flinched.

"Sam, just be quiet... You were s'posed to watch out for her. You knew she couldn't handle the breakup and might do somethin' daft as a rebound. And now, we're in deep water. Blimey... is he already tied up with someone else?" Her eyes shot daggers at you. You shivered under her icy glare.

Your moms' eyes are teary. Gosh, she worked so hard to raise them without their father, and now this. Your dad will relish the fact that all this happened on her watch. He will want custody of Becky after he hears about this.

She plopped down defeated in the dining room chair.

""Mom..." You spoke with a trembling voice, and your mum was in tears. She raised her hands, signaling you to stop talking. She couldn't handle it at that moment.

"Just... don't talk to me..." she sniffled and looked towards Sam, "Samantha, I reckon you need to head off... this is between Ruby and me... Thanks for dinner."

Samantha glanced at you with concern, quickly gave you a tight hug, and whispered in your ear, "no matter what... I'll be there for you, take care."

She swiftly bid farewell to your mum and left, trying to diffuse the tense atmosphere.

You stood quietly, awaiting your mum's anger, in front of the cabinet. "Why, Ruby... why?... didn't you two notice any white-blue swirls around you... didn't you read about it, huh? Didn't you? Those swirls were a warning from the system that the intimacy ritual had begun. Were you so wrapped up in the moment that you forgot your principles... Gosh!" She gazed at you with deep disappointment, and your heart ached at the sight of your mum's hurt.

"I'm sorry, Mum, I... I didn't realize... I'm so sorry, Mum," tears flowed as you felt utterly shattered.

"I'm a useless daughter... I've brought shame to this family... if... if you want me gone... I'll leave," you softly said, tears streaming down your face. But where would you even go? You were just 21, in your second year, with little money, only the investment your dad set aside for you, payable when you turned 25.

Your mum stood up, lips tightly pressed, "Ruby... where would you go, huh? To your dad? ...I'm disappointed... yes, I want to shake you for being so irresponsible... but you're my daughter, and I love you... but this... this impacts your future... was it a one-off thing?... did Greg's pain drive you to do something reckless?"

Shaking your head, "No, Mum... I fell for J... Nick... we fell for each other, dated for nearly a week, and didn't want it to go further... I avoided a relationship because we're both Tarnished, and I feared he'd get his soul mark later, like you did. He wanted me, Mum... but it's complicated," you explained, pain evident in your eyes. Revealing his identity to your mum would complicate things further. A famous boyfriend would only fuel her determination.

"Where's your phone... call him... he needs to know about the child... does he have work? What do you know about him?... How old is he?" She bombarded you with questions, but you remained silent, quietly going to retrieve your mobile. As you headed to your room, your mind raced with thoughts.

Back in your room, you quickly put in a random number with Nick as a profile name. You call the number, but there is only an automated voice stating that the "number you have dialed is no longer available" Thank God!

You smiled in relief and went downstairs to give the phone to your stoic mom. She took your phone and dialed the number with determination, ready to let the fiery Dragon out. But, instead, she furrows her brows and looks at you with flashing eyes.

"Bloody hell! His number's a dud. Seems like he's playing hide and seek... maybe the name he gave wasn't legit. You were just a flaming distraction for him. Crikey... was he taken or hitched?"  Grab your jacket and come on... lock the door."

Now your mum was well and truly furious... She grabbed her car keys and left the house without a word.

You chased after her. "Mum! ...wait, please... where are we headed?"

You hurried into the car, feeling the tension thick in the air. Your mum's teeth were gritted, her jaw locked tight. You could feel her anger bubbling up again.

After a 35-minute drive, you knew your mother would never forgive you. You arrived at a private clinic, outside your small town.

Your mum parked, staring blankly ahead.

"Mom?" you glanced at her, fear evident in your voice. What was she planning?

"It's my friend's private practice. She is a gynecologist."

You could just nod. Your mom's friend is very kind, and after she and your mom talked privately. She examined you by taking an ultra scan. The gell was cold on your belly, and You were almost six weeks far.

You were in awe, looking at the tiny dot, you glance at your mom, and you saw her eyes soften for a moment as your new doctor inform you and your mom of all the details. After that, you were just silent the whole drive back home.

The whole week your mom gave you the silent treatment. She didn't talk much with you, and you know she had to process the news and disappointment.

Bryant and Becky were home and felt so sad for You. Becky wanted to be around You as much as possible because you were in deep despair.

You were too sad and embarrassed to be around the family. Your mom was very busy with her studies, but luckily she didn't call your dad. You don't want anything to do with him. Becky and Bryant were secretly happy for the new baby that will arrive. You already love your baby, but you are so stressed out because you know you won't be able to take care of it. You wish Jimin were with you, never like before.

Samantha swung by every day to check you weren't sinking into a hole of sadness.

You mentioned to Samantha that you were contemplating adoption, but it would mean dropping out sooner or later or switching to online studies.

Samantha and Becky were dead against your decision. Samantha pledged financial support, while Becky offered to babysit when you had to hit the books. Tearfully, you hugged them both for their unwavering love and support.

Only a couple of weeks remained before the new semester began.

The next week, you felt drained, suffering from constant headaches and body aches. On top of that, you battled breathlessness and anxiety.

Nights became sleepless routines. Becky bunked in with you as you cried every night, yearning for Jimin.

At midnight, excruciating abdominal pain struck... your stomach cramping worse than any menstrual agony.

Becky flicked on the bedside lamp, hearing your anguished cries as you clutched your belly... her eyes widened in shock at your painful expression and where you held.

"Mom!!!" She bolted, sprinting to your mum's bedroom.

That fateful early morning... You lost the only link to the man you loved with all your heart...

...Your baby.

A/n. I hope you like the final... final flashback of Ruby.

Thanks for all the reads, votes, and comments. You keep me motivated. 👏👏👏

Stream Butter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMweEpGlu_U